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Friday, November 8, 2013

Fall in Love Friday #5

When I first started this Fall in Love Friday series I had no idea what I was going to write about from week to week. In the 4 weeks this series has run I have covered Fighting with Love, Dealing with Bullies, Navigating Some Alone Time as a Mom/Wife & I've shared one of the little places our family has fallen in love with. Now we have arrived at the fifth Fall in Love Friday post & I have decided to shift the focus of today's post back towards my first ever Fall in Love Friday. 

Now, I'm not going to re-hash how to fight nice or anything. I'm simply going to talk a bit about the journey I took to my Prince-Stubborn/Charming & why even the most painful breakups are all about the love. 

There was a time when every, single, breakup affected me so severely that I became a truly unrecognizable version of myself. Sometimes I would turn into a sad, weeping version of a Disney Princess, only listening to songs for the broken hearted & finding comfort in the happy endings of the seasons latest chick-flicks. Other times, I would become an angry-ball-busting-dramatic version of myself, it was as if I was Buffy the Boy Slayer & no douche-bag dude was going to hurt anyone, ever, again. Then there were the ugliest moments where I ignored my own self-worth & attempted to piece my broken heart back together with boy, after boy, after boy... like I said, I became someone that I wasn't do deal with the pain of losing someone, who wasn't meant to be.

Then there was Justin. After years of break-ups, make-ups, loves lost & too many shots of tequila, he walked into my life via a dusty, rustic, Alaskan truck-stop/cafe. So many things in my life were confusing, out of focus & a total mess when I made my way to Alaska. There are so many amazing things that happened my very first summer in Coldfoot, by far the most wonderful of all was the morning I met Justin. All of those things that were a bit blurry & clouded, were instantly in-focus & clear when I saw Justin. 

I could write pages upon pages of the things about Justin that made him my true love. Since that moment almost 5 years ago, he has been the clarity in my foggiest moments. My anchor. Our love has seen it's ups & downs, but through it all I know that all of the heartbreaks & breakups led me to that moment where he came into my life.
I had no idea that my heart, my soul, my everything needed the man that Justin is. His strength keeps me going when I've lost all hope. His humor makes me laugh at my darkest moments. His commitment to our family is extremely motivating. Then there is his stubbornness & his raw love of life that, at times can be the most infuriating & frustrating things about him, still they are components of who he is, parts of him that make me love him all that much more. 

What I'm slowly getting to here, is that, each & every heartbreak, breakup, final chapter to a relationship is significant.
 It is an ending to a story that is bringing you that one step closer to your true love.
 Now life is not a Disney Fairy Tale or a 1-hour-sitcom where everything is wrapped up, neat & nice within a moment. There will be trials, pain, sadness, too many pints of Ben & Jerry's to count & of course the ones who leave you broken hearted & a bit defeated. 
Do not let those moments take away your belief in love, in happiness, in romance. There is someone out there who is just as lost as you are, someone who is aching to know the depths of your soul, the volumes of your hopes & dreams. It just might take you a little longer to find your way to them.
So instead of holding onto the bitterness, the sting of a break-up, let it go, let that person fade away, out of focus. That way when the one person who really gets you, who fits your version of weird & understands your brand of crazy, comes along, you will be able to fall in love & give them all of you. Who knows, maybe it will be the most unexpected moment of your life with a person that you never expected to be with...it's your love story, so write the ending to each chapter how you want to & create the tale you've always dreamed of. Just don't leave out the reality & raw challenges of life. ;) 

This Fall in Love Friday post was a bit of a winding, rambling, mixed-up one. I just hope that you found something within it to help you with the love in your life...

So now, I'm going to wrap this post up & leave you with a photograph of one of my favorite moments in my life.

This was taken at our wedding in 2012. It was after our ceremony, dinner, toasts, & all other formal pictures. We snuck off with our lovely photographer to this field of sunflowers & had a mini-unplanned, magical photo session. This kiss was one of the first few we ever shared after becoming husband & wife & I'm so glad we have this picture to remember it.

"Justin & Sadie, I would ask that you both remember to treat yourself & each other with respect & dignity, remind yourselves often of what brought you here today.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, kindness, and friendship that your marriage deserves. When frustration & difficulty assail you, as they do in every relationship at one time or another, focus on what seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong."
 
 -wise words from our wedding ceremony that was officiated by my Papa.-

as always, love from alaska
sadie