Friday, October 4, 2013

Fall in Love Fridays

I have been tossing around the idea of doing a weekly series on this blog for a while now. I just wasn't able to find a topic that suited me perfectly, until now...

"Fall in Love Fridays" 

Fall in Love Fridays is my way of sharing all of the different kinds of love I know & have had in my own life. As I approach the 5 year anniversary of being with my husband I realize that I have learned quite a lot about who I am & how powerful being in love can be. It is the love that I have been able to share with him that has inspired this post & the series that will follow. So let's Fall in Love on Fridays...
Fighting with Love
I would never pretend or act like Justin & I have or have had the perfect relationship. We have had fights that I'm ashamed to admit even happened, not to mention the revolving every 6 week argument about who is going to mow the lawn, take out the trash & other random household chores.
We have struggled within the last 5 years with finances, job choices, where we live & enough parenting drama to last a lifetime. We have gotten mad over petty things & irritated over vehicle maintenance & what's for dinner. I have said things out of anger that I have wanted to erase from the reaches of my memory & cried tears over fights that were my own damn fault.
You're probably wondering why the hell I'm telling you all of this or posting it for everyone in the www. universe to see...
Well if there is one thing I have learned about fighting with someone you love, especially your spouse it is important you remember something very basic & quite childish.
 "Always remember to, fight nice." 
 I can hear "fight nice" echoing through my childhood memories, growing up with brothers there were a few scuffles. But I never imagined that a statement so simple would play such a huge role in my adult relationships, especially my marriage. The truth remains that no matter what, every couple is going to experience some level of growing pains & have fights no-one wishes to attend. It is within these dark moments that we all remember to fight with love.
Control yourself, count to 10 or 35 or 1,019 if you need to before blurting out thoughts that only exist in the heat of an argument. Keep your fighting partners feelings & emotions in mind. Try to only fight when it counts. Give your partner a chance to explain where they are coming from & try to understand what they need from you. All of these are things that I'm learning how to do inside of the fights Justin & I have. Because at the end of the day, when the storm has calmed & all that is left, all that will always be left is the two of us.
When the hurricane of frustration, anger, confusion, & hurt subsides I know that I want to be able to laugh with Justin again, to continue on building a life we both believe in. If you have too many fights that get the best of both of you, there will be nothing left to rebuild & you may find yourself without someone to fight with at all.
So the next time a storm is brewing & fight is about to erupt, fight nice & remember to fight with love.

love from alaska,

P.S. A portion of the inspiration for this post came from a recent fight over who should take the barking dogs out in the morning. ;)